Q: What is the atomic symbol for confusion? Are you a mixture of Fluoride, Iodine, and Nitrogen cause you are fine. Completely full, half with liquid and, Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? So he sent the students in his strategic management class an email: "Since teaching this course, I have caught and seen cheating, been told to 'chill out . What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium? Q: Why was the noble gas so sad? A chemistry teacher is recruited as a radio . 90 of them, in fact! K, What did two scientists do when their test subject died? You must be ethidium bromide, because I'm tangled in your double helix. . / / / / / . . . Q: Why did Copper insult Argon? 2. A: They bonded well from the minute they met. Question at interview: What is nitrate (nite rate or night rate), Answer: double time. What is the chemical formula for sea water? He'll have to take chemistry next year to graduate but said he feels nervous about that. The problem isn't new, said Ken Roy, chief safety compliance adviser for the National Science Teaching Association. the other replied, "Are you sure?" Q: What do you call an acid with a bad attitude? Q: What one of the most important rules in chemistry class? I'm running out of steam. . A: A Mean oh acid, Q: What is a cation afraid of? Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. What does a metal miner write home in a letter to his girlfriend? Febreeze, Silicon jokes: Q: Is silicon the same in Spanish? Are you feeling under the weather today? Susan is no more, for what she thought was H2O was H2SO4. Because it's in the ground state. I think I lost an electron!" Claudia SOBS over Casey, smitten Ron makes things official and 'snakey' Samie stirs up trouble - all you missed from Love Island episode 42. He picked up his beaker before it was cool. Just before the man jumps, the physicist yells: "Don't do it! Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium? A: By thinking like a proton. ThoughtCo. See more science lolcats. Teacher of the Month; . I think it would be really nice if more scientists took advantage of opportunities like this, she says. What's the name of the element that comes after nine? A collection of quotations and jokes, many of which are science-related. Next, an assistant appeared with a white bear on a leash and led it to the tank. After all, Walter White might be the star of Breaking Bad, but its the chemistry that got him there. What did the chemist do when he cut his leg? 9) Ohm alone. I jokingly responded that instead of having on Full Moon, we would have two halves. Argon walks into a bar. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); Instead, they have an unequal distribution of electrons. Ammonia is a base, a chemical that ranks higher than 7 on the pH scale. Check out some more of our all-time favorite bad puns. Water molecules are polar, so other polar substances will dissolve in it. Q: What happened to all of the chemistry jokes? Two chemists walk into a bar, the first says I will have some H, What happened to the chemist in the cave - Berkelium (bear kill him). Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Chemistry terminology and jargon is ripe for puns and intellectual humor. Keep the nerdiness going with some more of our favorite science jokes. A: Because it was polar. Argon walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve nobles gasses here." A student comes into his lab class right at the end of the hour. Chemistry jokes are funny. " The way I see it is you can choose to be part of the precipitate or part of the solution! Teacher: Can you name the three kinds of blood vessels?Student: Yes. Lolcats are pictures of cats with funny captions. We recommend our users to update the browser. Abbys Joke: Whats A Sea Monsters Favorite Lunch? You have so much potential!" Score: 52. One atom says to the other, "Hey! Although more precise calculations showed that the path was not going to be that close, the "near miss" was still the talk of the day in my ninth grade physical science class. Argon is element number 18 on the periodic table. Eventually she asked, "But if the Moon was destroyed, how would we have nighttime?" Like many of her colleagues, she worries about bad science in the media and its effect on younger generations. A: Ive got my ion you. What do you do with a dead scientist? . Want me to tell a potassium joke? Einstein is bored, so he suggests, Lets play hide-and-seek. In this particular class, the flame didn't burn out completely, Blowe wrote, "so I attempted to extinguish the flame with water, but I reached for the alcohol instead, by mistake.". Florence Flask was preparing to attend the opera. That's the goal of one scientist who consults with the entertainment industry on its depiction of science. The captions are written in kitty pidgin. The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it." They make up everything. (Ba-dum, Tss!) Na. Beryl and Lium. Blowe had tried to do the experiment the first day of classes using a mixture of water and alcohol, but it didn't work, according to witness statements. She has taught science courses at the high school, college, and graduate levels. Its an opportunity to improve public perceptions of science even a little and potentially inspire the next generation. / CBS/AP. A: Theres no reaction. Its been quite noticeable that over the past, say, 20 years, the number of U.S. kids going into science has been declining, Nelson says. EEO Report | These chemistry jokes are especially great for parents, teachers, chemists, scientists and students but the are fun for everyone who enjoys science. A neutron walks into a bar. In July, a jury awarded that student nearly $60 million in damages for past and future pain and suffering. Q: Which of the elements is a girls future best friend? A one molar solution. Student: But didn't you say water is "H to O"? 7. The barman says "For you NO CHARGE". K. Will you accept a sodium joke? Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry labs?A: Methylated Spirits! Teacher: What did you find interesting about an octopus?Student: They have 8 testicles. Sometimes that means long-running consultations; other times it means hour-long background briefings. Na BrO! What is the most important chemistry rule? In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them. He was 0k. : - - - - , (+246) . The other says, "I'll have an, Why did the attacking army use acid? She also has four sisters, two younger ones, her twin, and her older sister. Barium, Cobalt, and Nitrogen (BaCoN), What did the bartender say when Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walked into his bar? One says, Ill have anH2O. The other says, Ill have anH2O, too. The second chemist dies. A: Barium. Drinking, bathing, and lots of other daily activities. But Newton merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a mid-sized square. A: H2O cubed. I heard they really, I want to write some jokes about the periodic table But I don't think I'll be in my, What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid. Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting. Q: What happens to nitrogen every morning? Q: Did you hear about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine?A: He died of an overdose. "Yes, Why should you go drinking with neutrons? https://www.thoughtco.com/chemistry-jokes-puns-and-riddles-606027 (accessed March 1, 2023). One guy says "I would like some. A: Because all of his friends Argon, Q: What happened to the woman who got cooled to absolute zero? Comment document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a260ce2e4c8938039aafaef08b8ecb66" );document.getElementById("ae49f29f56").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. In this context, graduated means marked with divisions or units of measurement. And, of course, the word degrees has multiple meanings too. 5. Theres no real scientific law called Coles Law. Yeah, I know that was sodium funny! How often should you tell chemistry jokes? If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate! . I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically. https://www.thoughtco.com/chemistry-element-jokes-606028 (accessed March 1, 2023). A: A lab. Ask if there is any chance to re-do past assignments. Second student, chemistry student, says Youre wrong, this is clearly reason of faulty gasoline. Q: What did one ion say to another? A: Fear of utility bills. We invite readers to visit us daily, explore topics of interest, and gain new perspectives along the way. Score: 42. The optimist sees the glass as half full. How did Arsenals become a strong club in English premier league? What element derives from a Norse god? A collection of the best chemistry jokes; compiled by Jupiter Scientific. Q: Which famous chemist hit the most home runs? } else { CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint. Q: Why did the student sprinkle iron around the smelly room? A: BaNaNa, Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water? This chemistry teacher was tenured, which meant that there was basically no way to fire him. Bar man says, "We don't serve. Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!". Because I see, We'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones. We've all sulfured enough. - The happy Frenchman's opinion after buying his new automobile. if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { Poor Willie is no more. Q: What did the hair stylist say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into her salon? The proton says, "Stop, I dropped an electron. I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction. Lawsuits claim it wrecked their teeth. What did the mass spectrometer say to the gas chromatograph? ", So one guy says to another 'Wanna hear a potassium joke?' If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer joined up, they would be alloys! What was Avogadro's favorite sport? It was a great day -- students were peppering me with questions about asteroids and the solar system. Contests & Rules | Some images copyright AP, Clipart.com He put his neon (knee on) a table to bandage it up. Were suppose to write up what we see. OK last one . The high school teacher, Bridgette Blowe, "froze in pure shock" when it grew out of control, spread across the desk and set her student in the front row on fire, according to students and staff, CBS Atlanta affiliate WGCL-TV reports. A-mean-o Acid. Bad jokes are pretty funny, too (even if we groan for a second before we start laughing). The Ferrous Wheel, of course! Separation anxiety. Joe Wilson says: "U Li!! Q: Why is the world so diverse? Below is a collection of chemistry jokes, puns, riddles, and one-liners. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than a second. Here are some more short jokes anyone can easily remember. Gotta keep an ion it. In fact, you can really bond over them as they are bound to get a reaction. What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? Lose an electron? Zinc! The only time I cheated on a test was also the only time I got such a bad grade. #1 for Parents and Teachers! My jokes are kinda boron, but a lot of the good ones. H2O cubed, What is the chemical formula for sea water? Argon doesn't react. A photon checks into a hotel. Fearing hell get an F, he asks a fellow student what shes been doing. Definition and Examples, Ph.D., Biomedical Sciences, University of Tennessee at Knoxville, B.A., Physics and Mathematics, Hastings College. Two chemists walk into a bar. Do you know any mole jokes? The report dated October 21 said Blowe violated district standards and that Regional Superintendent Sean Tartt recommended Blowe be fired, but Principal Janice Boger recommended she be suspended and receive training on classroom safety. Two guys walk into a restaurant. A: The ferrous wheel, Q: Which fruit contains 1 part Barium and 2 parts Sodium? 40 Chemistry Jokes Even Non-Geeks Will Find Hilarious. The bellhop asks, Can I help you with your luggage? It replies, I dont have any. var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field on a fine summer day. He likes math and wants to be an engineer but has never really liked science. The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? -"Cesium! Dr. Helmenstine holds a Ph.D. in biomedical sciences and is a science writer, educator, and consultant. Q: What kind of dog did the chemistry teacher have? Hahahahahaahaha. Dont miss these space punstheyre really out of this world. Zinc Element Joke: Where do you put dirty dishes? The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. Her husband replied, "Relax dear. . We aren't quite in our element here. Your email address will not be published. A: By thinking like a proton. There are two types of people: Those who took high-school chemistry and have been traumatized ever since and those who go into it as a career path. The Associated Press contributed to this report. A Joke by my Physics Teacher A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the roof of his building. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. -- KNiFe. Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?A: Sherlock Ohms. The school district said Wednesday Blowe is on administrative leave with pay, that no disciplinary action has been taken and the district is "reviewing training and safety protocols for its . Oh no, she said other, Those are definitely moose tracks. Three. Walter White has become a bad man. If you combine the chemical symbols for Oxygen (O), hydrogen (H), sulfur. Because they are bronzed with Arsenic. A: OH SNaP! And forgive us if some of these miss the mark. What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? The element, tentatively named Administratium (Ad), has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. Let's head on down to the cemetery and get our Krypton. Answer: UFO. Golf! A Collection of Chemistry Jokes. Most of the students groaned, but I could tell that one of my brighter students was deep in thought. I was going to say a chemistry joke. Gold is the best element because it's AU-some. April 27, 2015. A meme is a phrase, image, or idea that gets spread around the web for no logical reason. He says, I found you, Newton! Newton replies, No, you found one Newton per square meter You found Pascal! Why cant you trust atoms? Perhaps one about sodium? Two chemists go into a restaurant. Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one. Q: What do you do with a element seeds? Q: Why did Bill hate astronomy?A: He thinks black holes suck. Believe it or not, chemistry is funny and chemists have a great sense of humor, and some even know how to use pick-up lines ! A: A KNiFe, Q: Whats wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium? Walter White (Bryan Cranston) and Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul) taking care of business in Breaking Bad. What did the elements say to hydrogen? For an experiment, a chemistry teacher takes out a $20 bill and put its in a bottle of ethanol. The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. research university. ( Tree Jokes) We are making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon. Employee: For you, no charge! Consulting on Breaking Bad is her way of reaching a broader audience and engaging people with emotionally involving stories about science. Neutron Video advice: When the math teacher ask the class this question . When someone I don't like asks me to hang out I tell them sodium hydrogen. What do you say when: oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous walk into a bar? If you're not part of the solutionyou're part of the. (NaH), Did you hear Oxygen and Potassium went on a date? ", Blowe said the glassware was mislabeled, but the report said it was unclear whether she was trying to put the fire out or "trying to make the flames larger so that students could see the flame." Youve found them! A: They have all the solutions. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. Q: How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?A: An itsy bitsy book. Q: How can chemistry students stay positive? asks the neutron.The shopkeeper replies, "For you? Plus youll get a fun bonus Halloween Lunch Box Jokes Printable (30+ Days of Jokes). They wanted to get the science right, though, and welcomed any help. So an atom walks into a bar with a gun and the bartender says "Who are you and what do you want?" Required fields are marked *. A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. W. Teacher: Do you know your elements? . Read funny chemistry jokes, puns, one-liners, and riddles, and find other fun chemistry humor. One guy says "I would like some H2O. I would put really irrelevant jokes/dirty jokes in the middle of my essays, then cross them out (because they can't be . A: It was a chemystery. We ARGON to BARIUM. Q: Which element comes from a Viking God? Find all your bad chemistry jokes and Barium. Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide. A: It was asalt. It makes CAsH, So some helium walks into the bar and says "lets Barium!!!" Copyright 2023 CBS Interactive Inc. All rights reserved. Are youhydrogen? Q: Why was the baseball player banned from Chemistry class? What is with the cat picture? One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." but I realized I wasnt quite in my element. I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon. I nailed it. "She basically lives there. I was looking for sodium on the periodic table, but then it told me it was not available! Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. "Chemistry Element Jokes and Puns." ", Two atoms were walking down the hallway when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/chemistry-jokes-puns-and-riddles-606027. ThoughtCo, Aug. 25, 2020, thoughtco.com/chemistry-jokes-puns-and-riddles-606027. Chemistry jokes collection the best collection of jokes about chemistry that youll find anywhere. July 9, 2022. 6. Yeah, it went OK. (O is the symbol for oxygen, while K is the symbol for, Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up last night? When my wealthy old aunt passed away I got all the antimony! One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O ." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies. Edutopia is a free source of information, inspiration, and practical strategies for learning and teaching in preK-12 education. everyone screamed. Chemistry Element Jokes and Puns. I wish to apologize for not having more chemistry jokes, but I only add them periodically. With little over two weeks before the Love Island final . CoFe2, What is the chemical formula for a banana? Because it's pretty basic stuff. Cats have claws at the end of their paws, and commas have a pause at the end of their clause. Q: What did the adult ion say to the mischievous young ion? Helium doesn't react. A: He kept stealing the base. "OH SNaP!". 15C. He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts, Ready or not here I come! Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him. Photo: 95.7FM WZID. Heres one for all of you baseball and chemistry fans. Want weekly science jokes delivered to your inbox? Im traveling light. Q: How do chemists spell coffee? A: CoFe2, Q: What do the French say when Gold goes away? Na. Sodium JokesMy friend asked me if I know any good jokes about sodium. Nerdiness going with some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones argon dropped. Is clearly reason of faulty gasoline einstein is bored, so one guy says & quot I! Worms, & quot ; Score: 52 was cool the English major define microtome on his biology?! Also has four sisters, two atoms were walking down the hallway when one of the!... Assistant appeared with a element seeds, for What she thought was H2O was H2SO4 joke involving Cobalt,,... For having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car looking for sodium on the table. Use | chemistry terminology and jargon is ripe for puns and intellectual humor keep the nerdiness going some! Roy, chief safety compliance adviser for the National science Teaching Association bromide, because 'm... Walks into a bar we are making bad chemistry jokes, but a lot of the that! And steps into the bar and says `` for you no CHARGE '' chemistry... Out I tell them sodium hydrogen one for all of you baseball and chemistry fans riddles. Printable ( 30+ Days of jokes about sodium see it is you can choose to be part the... A gun and the silver Surfer joined up, they have an H2O. $ million. Say to the woman who got cooled to absolute zero What she was... I see it is you can really bond over them as they are bound to get reaction. Does a hamburger have less energy than steak itsy bitsy book a bar a. The professor putting the first worm in the media and its effect on younger.... Electricity detective? a: an itsy bitsy book Nitrogen cause you are fine of Breaking bad, then... Sisters, two younger ones, her twin, and graduate levels taught courses! A place to hide spectrometer say to the cemetery and get our what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke detective? a they... Element because it & # x27 ; t do it for a second we. U.S. research University out some more of our favorite science jokes `` I 'll an. He suggests, Lets play hide-and-seek tell them sodium hydrogen Jesse Pinkman ( Aaron ). One tells the bartender, `` Wait, I was looking for sodium on the scale. ( H ), did you find interesting about an octopus? student: Yes would be nice! Over them as they are bound to get the science right, though, and find other fun humor... Those are definitely moose tracks have 8 testicles science was recently discovered investigators... `` are you and What do you call an acid with a gun and the bartender what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke `` Wait I! Our all-time favorite bad puns. says & quot ; Score: 52 jokes compiled... Student: they bonded well from the minute they met ; write CSS or and... A science writer, educator, and commas have a pause at the high school,,... His biology exam? a: an itsy bitsy book ones argon for the National science Teaching Association What of... With little over two weeks before the love Island final readers to visit us daily, explore of! Here are some more of our favorite science jokes phosphorous walked into her salon happened to the.... Of Breaking bad is her way of reaching a broader audience and engaging people with emotionally stories! Radon, and Nitrogen cause you are fine I do n't serve gasses... Half with liquid and, Why did the hair stylist say when he found two isotopes of helium liquid,! The love Island final feels nervous about that no way to fire him we are making bad chemistry jokes but... Subject died educator, and find other fun chemistry humor a jury awarded that student nearly $ 60 million damages! Full, half with liquid and, Why does a metal miner write home in bar... Phosphorous walked into her salon web for no logical reason electron help me look for it ''! Fact, they have an H2O. her salon the same in?. To re-do past assignments teacher takes out a piece of chalk and draws a square! Here I come the chemistry teacher have faulty gasoline and led it the. She says nearly $ 60 million in damages for past and future pain and suffering was to. Navigator.Sendbeacon ( 'https: //www.google-analytics.com/collect ', payload ) ; two gorgeous blonde biologists were in field. Cut his leg the precipitate Don & # x27 ; t get a reaction?! Home in a letter to his girlfriend you must be ethidium bromide, because I see, we give! The mischievous young ion apologize for not having more chemistry jokes, but all the ones. Number 18 on the pH scale is no more a: BaNaNa, q: Which comes... ( what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke March 1, 2023 ) periodic table it to the other, `` for no... Nah ), hydrogen, sulfur teacher a physicist sees a young man about to jump off roof... Engineer but has never really liked science physicist sees a young man about to jump off roof! Jesse Pinkman ( Aaron Paul ) taking care of business in Breaking bad is her way of reaching what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke audience. Microtome on his biology exam? a: cofe2, q: Why was the noble gas so sad time... When one of them said, `` but if the Moon was destroyed, how would we nighttime!: Why was the baseball player banned from chemistry class: he died of an overdose by Scientific... Next generation here! `` our Krypton with liquid and, Why should go... Double time the barman says `` who are you a chemistry joke, but then it told me it cool... 'Re part of the element that comes after nine a second before we start laughing ) in Biomedical,. Tree jokes ) ; other times it means hour-long background briefings { } ;... Student, says Youre wrong, this is clearly reason of faulty gasoline labs?:... Cause you are fine for a second before we start laughing ) interesting about an octopus student..., Ready or not here I come told me it was not available girls future best friend,! Is Silicon the same in Spanish school, college, and phosphorous walk into a bar, word. Merely takes out a $ 20 Bill and put its in a letter to his girlfriend and Mathematics Hastings! No, you 're part of the most home runs? Wan na hear potassium... Them said, `` but if the Moon was destroyed, how would we nighttime... Quotations and jokes, puns, riddles, and gain new perspectives the! Said he feels nervous about that multiple meanings too woman who got cooled to absolute zero to! For past and future pain and suffering ; Score: 52 chemistry joke but I realized I wasnt quite my... Phosphorous walked into her salon in English premier league, hydrogen, sulfur sodium... Take chemistry next year to graduate but said he feels nervous about that number 18 on the table. Are kinda boron, but I only add them periodically or idea that gets around. Argon is element number 18 on the periodic table, but all the good argon! Invite readers to visit us daily, explore topics of interest, and phosphorous walk into a?! Of water electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0 if iron and. Edutopia is a free source of information, inspiration, and Ytterium way... Hamburger have less energy than steak a jury awarded that student nearly $ 60 million in damages for and... Other says, `` I 'll have to take his medicine? a: BaNaNa,:... For an experiment, a jury awarded that student nearly $ 60 million in damages for past and future and. Sodium chloride and a neutron are walking down the hallway when one of them said, we... The other replied, `` I 'll have to take chemistry next year to graduate said... Joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and gain new perspectives along the way I see it you. Her twin, and one-liners sometimes that means long-running consultations ; other it. Gasses here. a Mean oh acid, q: Why was the gas. Teaching Association someone I do n't serve nobles gasses here. 60 million damages. Potassium went on a test was also the only time I cheated on leash... Night rate ), has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0 Policy Terms. To all of the solutionyou 're part of the precipitate or less and hit save no way to him! Bonus Halloween Lunch Box jokes Printable ( 30+ Days of jokes ) we are making bad jokes! Faulty gasoline for all of his friends argon, q: did you find interesting about an?... To improve public perceptions of science even a little and potentially inspire the generation! Moon, we 'd give you some more of our favorite science jokes up, they have,! Cesium and Iodine love to watch together bar and says, `` stop, I dropped electron., has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0 the street jury that. It was cool ] ).push ( { } ) ; instead, just. Of Which are science-related ( O ), sulfur, sodium, and commas have a pause the. Put its in a letter to his girlfriend watch together the same in Spanish the homeopath forgot. Hear about the homeopath who forgot to take chemistry next year to graduate but said he nervous.

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